“You’re More Than a Success Machine”

About halfway through Arthur C. Brooks’s tenure as president of a Washington, DC, think tank, he realized two things: He lacked a clear purpose, and he was missing valuable time with his family. Traveling frequently and working 80-plus hours a week, he had allowed workaholic tendencies to creep into his life. Despite everything that was rewarding about his job, something had to change.

Brooks, a social scientist, is now at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, where he teaches a course in leadership and happiness. He’s also interested in addictive behaviors, including workaholism — or, as he specifies, an addiction to success.

This addiction, while not a chemical dependence, “revs up our dopaminergic system and makes us chase the ‘high’ of success,” he told me in an interview conducted over email. “And…each new success doesn’t seem to fill our desire. We work harder and keep searching for the next score, notwithstanding how that might hurt our personal relationships.”

In the process, we become what he calls “success machines.”

“Two hallmark signs exist for success machines,” he explains. “First, in the workplace, will you do anything to get ahead (including disparaging coworkers or cutting corners to make yourself look good)? Second, are your personal relationships suffering from your unwillingness to leave your work at the office?”

If you answer “yes” to these questions, “odds are you might be losing your humanity.”

So, how do you get it back? “You can prevent this outcome by recognizing that success is rarely a zero-sum game,” says Brooks. “Spending more time with your children will not mean you’ll fail professionally, and your coworkers’ success will not make you look terrible. You can do your job well and still live a life of personal and professional virtue.”

Brooks is also clear that cultivating genuine connections with others is necessary, though it can be tricky to know where to start if you’ve spent years in workaholic mode. “Are you feeling lonely and want to be loved? If so, go love others,” he says. “This can start in remarkably simple ways. In the workplace, make your coworker a cup of coffee; at home, strike up a conversation with your neighbor, and ask how he or she is doing. Before long, you might find yourself having a weekly lunch with your coworker, or perhaps getting invited to your neighbor’s dinner party. If you initiate little acts of kindness, you’ll be much less lonely as a result.”

Finally, Brooks notes that the problem of workaholism and success addiction also requires societal solutions. “In an era of social media (which, in essence, is a social comparison machine), we tend to admire those with fancy jobs, high salaries, and insanely busy lives,” he explains. “We need to reach a collective agreement that, say, success means far more than making a huge paycheck while wearing designer clothing. In my view, living a life full of virtue — which means loving your job, your friends, your family, and your faith — is a truer marker of success.”